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Tuesday, March 10th, 2009
12:38 pm - Food
Hi to everyone who might read this. Which is probably in fact no one.

Today for lunch I had a little sprout salad with lentils, adzuki, and mixed green sprouts. Also was tomatoes with a little oil and vinegar. To drink I had a grape Vitamin Water and a bag of tortilla chips.

current mood: peaceful

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Friday, October 24th, 2008
8:17 am - some good some bad
How are you? things are good here. mostly. to start off simply, it is friday and i am a little tired and dirty but i feel good. if i can make it through the day without too many problems I will be feeling great. because then i get to go pick up emily and have a grand ole time for the weekend. i am housesitting for my parents so it is like a little mini vacation away from the dump that is my apartment. hopefully i can get some friends over too but if not thats fine too. so thats it. not much too it yet but it is still early.

current mood: good

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Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
9:25 am - which way am I going?
I have a lot on my mind. And while I do practice certain techniques that allow me to clear my mind, sometimes I do just want to be overwhelmed. It forces me to think and act on something until resolution so I don't allow it to consume me. My main worry is that certain things are taking me in a direction other than where I want or maybe need to go. While this seems to have been a constant struggle for me I am determined that there is a healthy balance between wants and needs. But finding that balance is a lot harder than it seems.

current mood: pensive

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Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
1:49 pm - hi
Today is my friends birthday. He is a welding artist. Check out his web site at http://www.weldingartwork.com.

His just begins a number of consecutive birthdays. I seem to know people that either have birthdays in july or in october but few outside of that. I dont know what the deal is. I guess a lot of people just decided to make babies in February and November. February I guess might be explained by Valentines Day and the only thing I can think about November is that it starts to get cool or cold and whats better place to spend a cold day than in bed keeping each other warm. Ok, enough of that crazy little thought.

Actually that is all I had today. I guess it is back to work then.

current mood: jittery

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Monday, October 6th, 2008
9:28 am - its raining today....
and I for one am glad. My plants need a nice good natural drink and the rain can do that better than my watering can can. That and while the weather has been nice here in Dallas since the Fall rolled into town, a nice dark day is needed once in a while. While everyone enjoys a nice clear, sunny day because you can see everything that your eyes pass over easily, but too often dark and rainy days are overlooked as being a time when you can turn your vision inside and look clearly on the things within that often get ignored for the pretty things we see with our eyes. It is not as simple as light equals good and dark equals bad. I for one will try to take advantage.

On a another note, and this goes along with the traditional idea of darkness, but my bar, the Meridian Room is closed. I really did cry a little when I first realized it might be true. I have been going there almost since the beginning when it opened in 2001. It really is the best bar in Dallas. They had excellent food (I'll miss their grilled cheese), great beer and whiskey selection, and the staff was very nice. At least the bartenders usually were, Dave especially. Part of me still doesn't really believe it and can't wait for them to reopen, but it may not happen and I didn't even really get a chance to say goodbye or have one last beer. It makes me sad and I hope this is not a trend in Expo Park. Bar of Soap closed a couple of weeks ago, so it really just leaves Amsterdam and Fallout. As long as Amsterdam hangs around then I should be okay. If not then I have just even more reason to leave Dallas.

current mood: indifferent

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Thursday, September 25th, 2008
11:30 am - back again... but for how long?
It seems that it is time for my annual post. I always think about how great of a tool that blog posting could be for me but for some reason it always seems to fall by the wayside. It used to bother me that I didn't post here more knowing that it could be such a good outlet for me on many different levels. But as with other changes in my life I feel I have different and maybe better ways of accomplishing this. I feel like I could go on and on about these things but I would rather just live them then write them. So instead I'll just tell you what I am eating right now for lunch. All of which is homemade and mostly organic. I bought the spinach at the local market.

pita bread
raw spinach
green tea

May the Force be with you,

PS - the State Fair starts tommorrow, I'll be there all day Saturday and as much as I possibly can after that.

current mood: clear

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Monday, June 9th, 2008
1:59 pm
maybe it is just the fact that it is getting hot outside or maybe it is that i have gotten better at doing the things i do but whatever it is things seem to be getting boring and i can't quite figure out what it is. I have plenty of hobbies and spend enough time with my friends. I think mainly things are just getting stale for me a the moment. And I kinda get the feeling that this may be more than just a short term lull. I almost kinda hope it is because then that gives me reason to make some changes. i guess I will find out after I leave to go on vacation this week. I did not plan any vacations this year like i normally do. I just thought I would visit my friend in Kansas City and then just chill out the rest of the time. All I know is if I have to do anything for work while I am gone, I am just going to completely lose it. Part of it is that I am just mad that I had to miss my sister's graduation in Boston because my boss didn't think he could handle it by himself and then he wasn't even here most of the time my parents were gone in Boston. It didn't really bother me at first but a friend and I were talking about how important something like that is to her family and I guess it got me thinking. I am now that it is over and I got to see a few pics from it, I am truly disappointed that I didn't get to go.

current mood: disappointed

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Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
11:06 am - lazy ass me...
Isn't it just like me. I get going on some things and completely forget about others. I just know that this will come back to bite me in the ass in the future. I guess I have been lucky so far. But here is a post that has been a long time coming and yet I still have nothing to say. Life has just been more or less boring. My parents took a trip to Italy (I'm jealous, but it is trip I plan to take at some point or another). So I got to sit around their house and watch satelite tv for a few weeks. And then back at home just the usual. I have been able to get my new apartment basically in order. And I finally have the time again to start cooking again. My pizza recipe is coming along. I think it gets better every time I make it. And bread baking too, but that is a bit trickier. Although I was able to make 2 pretty decent loaves without a recipe. I think that the exciting part of my life come from work (which is somewhat sad), but I have been busy trying to defend our servers from hackers who decided they really wanted to get into our database. But all is well now, I think, and I hope. But I'll post more when I have more. Oh I forgot one other thing. I built a website for my friends artwork. It isn't much but its a start and it gives him a place to display his artwork should he decide to persue it more. Check it out at http://weldingartwork.com. And hopefully I will soon have a chance to build up some other websites that I always procrastinate on. My current project is a Polyphonic Spree fan website. We'll see how it turns out. 10-4 good buddy, over and out.

current mood: bored

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Thursday, March 20th, 2008
3:42 pm - well, well, well...
Well, here I am again. I don't know why I do not post here more often. It is easy oppurtunity for me to expose my inner self and not be bothered by the feelings of what may come from it or what people will think. Livejournal doesn't even begin to give the level openness that I wish I could enjoy. I wish I could turn myself inside out emotionally, spiritually, physically, and whatever other -ally there is. Then everyone could see me for who I am and I wouldn't have to worry about my inside feelings and I could focus on the outside ones, meaning my connections to this world and other people.

I have been busy busy busy with work lately. Things got for me for a while and I started to lose it but i can always pull myself up. One of the up things is that I feel like I have defeated my drinking demon. I used to drink a ton and turn to alcohol for any kind of problem and even for having fun. I just do not have the urge to drink like I used to. Now I am not saying I am giving it up unless I am out with people and everyone else is drinking then I would just rather have a cup of coffee or tea. I don't even remember the last time I was really drunk.

Moving on, I am moving apartments again soon. This move shouldn't be as hard as I am only moving down two floors. I chose this over another apartment that is bigger and slightly cheaper just because it would be easier and also I will finally have my own porch again. Because of this I have been on a cleaning frenzy lately. My apartment hasn't been this clean since I moved in. It also gives me an excuse to get rid of a bunch of junk. I have always been a bit of a pack rat but I am trying to change this. I have a pile of stuff that is going to Salvation Army unless someone wants any or all of it.

Along the same lines I would like to move to a different city all together. But there are too many other factors that play into that so we will see how it goes. I just feel like things are getting stale for me in Dallas. Don't get me wrong, I love Dallas with all my heart, but after living here for 26 years something has to change to keep things interesting.

Thats it for now. I wish I had some new pictures to post but I haven't been taking in lately.

Oh and everyone cheer on the struggling Mavericks. It has been a rocky road but we just need to push on through to the playoffs. Go Mavs!!

current mood: fidgety

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Friday, February 8th, 2008
6:48 pm - mobile posting fun...
I almost forgot I had this account. it has been a while since I have posted, I know. but things have been up and down for me. but here I am now. this is being posted from mobile phone because I am on the train to the mavs game and I need something to do other than listening to all these other people talk about nothing. but anyways, works been rough and has caused me to rethink some things. I might go into detail on that later. it just seems like things are piling up and I can't clear them out fast enough. therefore I have been searching for ways to become more effiecient. I have a start so far but I need some more.

on another note, ihave have chosen the destination for my next vacation. it may sound kinda boring to some but I have thought about this trip for some time now. I am gonna go to tennessee and kentucky. I want to go visit my brother in knoxville. and also visit where the only true american spirit, bourbon, is produced. I also plan on spending some time camping in the great smoky mountains. with the destination chosen the fun part begins, the planning of it.

well I don't have too much else to say. and you may not beable to read this right away as my website has been down.


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Wednesday, January 9th, 2008
12:22 pm - new year stuff
It's the new year again. I am not sure if that really means something special or that we just have to get used to writing 2008 instead of 2007. So far it has been good. I have once again become a vegeterian. It really doesnt feel that different, i just cant order meat when I go to a restaurant for dinner or lunch. In fact I made a particularly delicious lunch for myself today. I have hummus and tabouli pita bread sandwiches. All of which were hand made from scratch (yes, even the pita bread). I can't wait for lunch now, I have made myself hungry and it doesnt help that all I have had for breakfast is coffee and tea. Hummus and tabouli are both things I have made before and am pretty good at, I just need to find some new recipes that I can start working on. I think cooking vegeterian allows you to be more creative in mixing flavors together, not like with meat dishes where you generally have to have flavors that complement the meat dish. I have also taken an interest in bread baking. I got a nice stand mixer for christmas that makes making dough so much easier. I cant wait to try out a rye bread recipe.

Ok, so i never got to finish this post. I have to go now because work is over. And I stink from my mouth, arms, and ass from lunch today. That and the Mavericks play tonite. Should be a good game against the Detroit Pissoffs, i mean ;) , Pistons. I'll be back later.

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Thursday, December 27th, 2007
4:42 pm

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Tuesday, December 18th, 2007
5:31 pm - Polyphonic Spree!!!
Have I ever told you how much I love the Polyphonic Spree? If not then let me do it now. I love the Polyphonic Spree so freaking much. I am not the type of person to choose favorites but Polyphonic Spree is my favorite current band and easily my favorite live show ever. I went to the Polyphonic Spree Holiday Extravaganza on Sunday night. It was fantastic. I think I say this every time I see one of their shows but that was the best one I have seen to date. It was at the Lakewood Theater. It has been there every year except for last year, which I boycotted because it was at Nokia Live. I think they got the picture on where it should be held. The played two shows on Sunday. I goofed up when buying the tickets and got ones to the early show instead of the late one. I couldn't find anyone to go with me so I went by myself and figure I would just have to eat the second ticket. As it turns out they didn't check tickets that hard for the second show and I got into that one to. They were basically the same show but that didn't matter to me. I still had a great time. If you have been to a show with me then you know but I totally cut loose when I am at a Polyphonic Show. I dance, I sing, and just totally get into it. If you know me then you would probably think something was wrong with me compared to the way I normally act. They played three different sets. One set of Christams music which was cool. They played Happy Xmas (War is Over) by John Lennon which was really cool, along with several other traditional songs. They also did the Freddy Fender version of Feliz Navidad. Then they went into a "full on rock set", according to Tim DeLaughter. Which was in fact two seperate sets. The first of which was done in their grey Fragile Army clothes and then they did a second set in their white robes. It was all great. They played new songs, old songs, and a cover. The was lots of confetti, and balloons, and people just having a good time rocking out to Polyphonic.

I always find something very spiritual about Polyphonics music and live shows. And this one was no exception. In fact maybe more so than I was ready for. I am not quite sure why or for what but I accept it nonetheless. I think it kinda was a push for me to change some things in my life that I have been procrastinating on. It will require some thought. But I was completely blown away by the experience, so it will all be worth it.

current mood: crazy

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Thursday, November 29th, 2007
11:52 am
I sound like a big scrooge when I talk about Christmas. I know that it is not really that bad. Things are just extremely busy during this time of year and it gets stressful. I think a part of it is that I have made some changes in my life that really have turned things around for the better and I hope that those would carry over into the Christmas holidays. Don't get me wrong I love giving presents and even receiveing them a little bit but all the hassle of shopping for things that people probably don't really need isn't fully worth it. I have already begun to change my outlook on things and as well my immeadiate family is actually slowly coming to a point where gift exchanges will be optional. It has made me change my outlook on what I want to get people. I want to make things for people or give them a donation in their name to a good charity. While this won't solve all the problems it is a start.

current mood: hungry

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Friday, November 23rd, 2007
4:06 pm - Tis the season...
There are about a million ways I could finish the subject of this post, but I'll put it this way. I fucking hate Christmas!! And certainly my feelings on it are mixed but there is just too much bad stuff involved that it completely overshadows the good stuff. Take today for instance. They call it Black Friday and that pretty much sums up the majority of the downsides to Christmas. On the contrast I absolutely love Thanksgiving. I just got back from our family Thanksgiving gathering. Every other year we go out to Marble Falls, Texas (near Austin) and spend Thanksgiving out on my aunt's summer camp that she runs. It is always an amazing time. There is lots of family, lots of food, and lots to do. It makes me wish I was more involved with that side of my family because they are all really great and loving. But as soon as I got back to Dallas I had to come to work to take care of something and then I thought I would leave. But no there is work to do because the work I do does nothing but perpetuate everything I hate about Christmas. I have been contemplating that for a while now and it severely upsets me that soon I will be subject to all of that as well. Christmas is a time of year, at least to me, that people get to become fat, alcoholic, depressed and spend way too much money on frivolous things. That maybe doesn't apply to everyone but I can tell you that it surely applies to me. I just wish Christmas was more like Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is relatively pure. It is a time for family, food, and football (in that order) and there usually isnt too much more you really have to worry about. Christmas on the other hand... And I won't finish that because this post is long enough as it is. Thanksgiving does not really have any religious ties like Christmas does but in my mind is a much more spiritual holiday than Christmas is. If we could just dust off all of the stuff that has dirtied the spiritual side of Christmas it could become a holiday way much more powerful than it is today.

Okay, that is my rant about Christmas. You may only have to hear me talk about it a few more times but I promise it will not be as long. So I am gonna go home and cry for a bit and then begin drinking and not stop until it is the new year. Oh and here are a few pics to look at.

current mood: depressed

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Friday, November 9th, 2007
12:19 pm
Ok, so I forgot some stuff. So today you get two for the price of one. I ended up posting that pic of Polyphonic twice so just ignore one of them. I did forget to mention the rematch between Dallas and Golden State last night. I wish I could have seen it. It sounds like it was a close game. But Dallas inched it out 120-115 I think. Too close for comfort if you asked me, especially after what happened last year. The other thing I was going to mention was the fact that DJ Shadow and Cut Chemist are coming to town in January. Tickets just went on sale today and I am debating on whether or not I really want to buy tickets. If I think it will sell out I will buy some tickets probably some extras to sell on eBay. But we'll see how it goes.

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11:53 am
Hooray for Fridays!! I really feel like I just need to hide out this weekend and spend it by myself and get some things back together. It should be somewhat fun. Tonite I just plan on baking bread and making pizzas, all to be frozen and stored for future use. And then I am going to set up my tent in my apartment, mainly to clean it out but also to have a fun little camp out. I havent decided what I want to do on Saturday or Sunday yet. One of my ideas though was to buy a premium day pass for dart and ride all of the train lines from beginning to end, stopping somewhere for lunch.

That was upcoming. And now for what has just past. If you read this regularly then you know that there has been some crazy shit going on lately. But enough of that. I did go to see Polyphonic Spree the other night and it was great. I will post a couple of picutres from that night. Also last night I went to see Regina Spektor which was fun. The House of Blues was packed to the brim. I have never seen that place sold out before. But she put on a good show. She has fun with her music, thats what I like. Well that and she has a beautiful voice. I'll post a couple of pictures from that as well.

I think that is about it. Nothing else noteworthy going on. So I am going to go eat my lunch of homemade bread and homemade hummus. I might even have a soda today.

current mood: good

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Wednesday, November 7th, 2007
11:01 am - another day in paradise
So things are getting better. The weather is great outside. I absolutely love it and hope it stays around longer. Things are the usual, except that I have been going to some good live shows lately. Well just one for now. The Smashing Pumpkins show was supposed to be on Saturday but was postponed due to someone in the band having medical problems. Whatever, it didn't really surprise me too much. I did however go to see the Polyphonic Spree last night at the House of Blues. They are my favorite act to see live. It is always so much fun and they always do it good when they come through Dallas. I really do consider it a spiritual experience. I was unable to drink though because my license was confiscated earlier last week. It was okay. I think my friends were more concerned than I was. I just knew that I wasn't gonna get thrown out of another Polyphonic Spree show for drinking. So as it turns out my friends picked up the slack on the drinking. My buddy was pretty damn drunk although he would never admit it. He was driving crazy and acting crazy, and I pleaded with him to let me drive despite the fact my license is suspended. He scared the shit out of me the way he was driving. And then sure enough after I had warned him he got pulled over. I thought for sure he would be going to jail. But somehow he managed to pass the sobriety test and we got someone to pick us up. I don't know how he did it. All I can say is he got luuuck-y. We finally got home my other friend insisted on leaving so she ended up taking him back to his car even after some arguement about them both staying the night, but they made it back to their respective places safely and all is well. It could have been worse and it could have been better and that is said keeping in mind that I left out a lot of personal feelings in this post.

current mood: contemplative

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Friday, November 2nd, 2007
10:24 am - Lots to talk about
I had a fantastic weekend. It was exactly what I needed. Me and some friends went out to Galveston and just hung out for the weekend. The weather was great, the skies were clear, not to hot, not to cold, and there was lots of great food and drink. We actually made great time out there with one minor snag that could have been a major disaster. We took our bikes down on a bike rack and about an hour away from Houston one of the straps broke and the bikes nearly fell off the car onto the interstate but they hung on and we were able to fix it. We finally got down there and had a great time. Chelsea was complaining of back pain which, after a trip to the emergency room, turned out to be a urinary tract infection. But she got taken care and all was well. We ate great. We had steaks, hamburgers, fresh gulf shrimp gumbo, fresh boiled crabs. it was all delicious. Thanks goes to David's dad for cooking some awesome gumbo and crab. The rest of the time we just hung out on the beach, or rode bikes, and drank and hung out. All in all it was just very relaxing and just what I needed for a change. On the way back, I was anxious to get home so I was speeding some and sure enough got pulled over. And unbeknownst to me I was driving on a suspended license. I didn't even know why and the dickhead cop was very rude and would not tell me. So they wrote me up some tickets and let Rick drive home. And I made it home and everything was good. I went to work the next day as normal, then went to school. And then Tuesday is when all hell broke loose. It started out a normal day. Went to work and then had dinner with my parents in the evening as I do most Tuesdays. And then Shawn, Rick, and I decided to grab a drink. We had a good time and played Pacman and Galaga and such. And then I headed home. I was not far away from home when I was stopped for failing to change lanes when a cop had someone else pulled over. I almost immeadiately knew what was going to happen but had my hopes up. I honestly thought I would just get some more tickets and my car would be towed or someone would have to come pick it up. But no I got the full nine yards. I was arrested for suspended license, luckily not DUI, I had been drinking but I was completely coherent. I got to spend the night in jail and then pay a boatload of money in the morning to get out. After which I got to walk back to work. And now I have to sort this all out and get on with my life.

I never claim to have my life figured out but when I think I am moving in the right direction, and recently I feel that I had taken leaps in the right direction, life is there to through a great big old wrench into the gears. I guess it is just to keep me on my toes.

On the upside the Mavs won their first regular season game. GO MAVS!!!

current mood: working

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Thursday, October 25th, 2007
5:05 pm
I cannot wait!! In about 12 hours I will be heading to Galveston to sit on the beach an do nothing for a couple of days. It is gonna be great. I have sorely been needing a vacation and while it is not all that long it is a good start and will hold me over until I get the chance to plan and take a real one. I'll tell you all about it when I get back.

current mood: anxious

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